The perfect man is described as a man you see as your perfect match. There are two ways a woman can spend her life regarding finding love.
We can either keep working on ourselves and reaching goals while living life and being open to anything that comes our way.
Or we can sit and wait for that one person who will turn our life around. Even, idealize him before we’ve ever met anything like that.
The latter leads to being pretty miserable. Quite a big percentage of women has the picture of the perfect man created in their heads, and they miss out on what’s in front of them now solely due to this.
This behavior is unhealthy for a few reasons. And it turns out, letting go of that ideal person from your dreams, will most likely lead to actually meeting someone decent and starting a promising relationship.
The Truth About The Perfect Man
According to science, finding your soulmate is almost impossible as it depends on so many other factors, even if the said right fit for everyone exists.
This situation is similar to the average people who want to succeed in life, but who never take risks, do what they’ve always been doing, wait for things to happen, and complain about not seeing progress.
While at the same time the successful ones are working on their business ideas, making changes, building discipline and personal qualities, getting rid of old mental patterns, and making things happen every single day.
The truth about the perfect man is that he exists mostly in your head. You created that picture, and you have no knowledge of such a person and whether something could go right even if you meet.
That’s one of the many illusions people live in to feel some comfort. But this turns into a comfort zone, and it prevents you from doing anything, getting yourself out there, trying new things and meeting people.
And these are precisely the things you should be doing to meet someone special and give it a go.
Finding The Balance
The solution to all of your life’s problems is to open yourself up to anything exciting around you. But that can happen in multiple ways, and you need to find the balance.
Here are some examples:
Online dating can be a turning point in your life if you’re there to have fun, but also know what you want.
However, it can also become a nightmare if you idealize someone based on their profile. Though the brief chat you’ve had, and then have these great expectations before you even meet. There’s no other outcome of this rather than disappointment.
The scary thing is that with so many single men out there ready to date, you have plenty of choices to name the perfect man. But it will almost never be true.
Some will fit the description to some extent, and that will give you hope that will feed the dream of finding the soulmate that you’ve been holding onto for so long.
Even if you go out together a few times and he’s a nice person that can offer you what you’re looking for. You probably won’t notice that as you’ll be focusing on what he has and what he doesn’t possess according to the picture in your mind.
A New Approach to Dating
For a start, you’ll need to let go of some mental blocks.
These are your expectations. Stop waiting for something perfect. perfectionism hurts relationships.
Let go of the illusion you live with.
Sure, have an idea of what man would look good in your life and will be a good fit for your way of living and thinking. Also, keep this under control so you might recognize who’s worthy when they are around you.
When you do meet someone, be it by using a dating app or in real life, try to see his good sides, and be okay with what’s not as you imagined it to be.
Flaws are inevitable. The point is to find somebody that will have the right imperfections, which you’ll be able to live with.
Next, forget about all the men in your past, together with the negative emotions you experienced. A new chapter in your life is about to begin, and you dictate the direction.
The new attitude of life you have must look like this: accept every day as a new opportunity to meet fantastic people, each of which can become someone special to you after some time.
Take it easy in the beginning, let things be and don’t push them. That’s the best way to see whether or not you two are good for each other.
Also, put yourself out there. Waiting doesn’t help. Visit new places, learn and try new things. Don’t be afraid to be more social and even approach people first. You’ve got nothing to lose, but there’s a lot you can win.
If you become action-oriented, life will throw different things at you. Some will test you, others will teach you. And every now and then, it will surprise you with coincidences that will change your life forever and make you happy. These things won’t be like anything you had in mind. And that’s exactly why you need to be open to anything, take chances and see how it goes.
Stop dreaming about the perfect man. Even if he exists, he might not be what you wish for. Instead, live your life and meet people, until one of them becomes ‘the one’.
Sarah Williams is a Berlin-based lifestyle blogger, entrepreneur and dating coach. Her interests include gender relations and the underlying mechanisms that drive human interactions. You can check out Wingman Magazine to read some of her life tips.