Do you know how to apologize?
In some cases, saying sorry (apologize) is not enough. Instead of softening things up and improving the situation, this just leads to an even bigger bang and mess. We often just put our hands and wonder why the other person does not seem to appreciate what we do.
Why do other people always have to see what you say in the worst light?
Well, it may not be his fault.
Your apology may not be as sincere or as well intended as you plan. That’s because many of us make mistakes when we apologize. We say and do things that do not help what we do.
For this reason, here is a practical guide on how to apologize.
Including the word ‘but.’
In Game of Thrones, they compared everything before the word “but” with horse manure. Well, that’s true, especially if you apologize.
If you say: “I’m sorry, but it’s also your fault”, then what your audience will hear is not “forgiveness” but “it’s your fault”.
The best advice if you apologize is to focus on the fact that you apologize and leave the disputes for later. If you find it difficult, remember this: apologies would not mean much if they were easy.
Do you know what the norm of reciprocity is?
It’s what we do to others who have done it to us.
For example, if you go to someone’s house and he gives you a bottle of wine, you should do the same. If someone sent you a postcard or sent you a message on your birthday, you should do the same.
If you want an apology without problems, you often have to apply the same idea.
You apologize, and the other person gives you an apology. If you do not, things can get out of control easily. The person who first apologized will feel that he is there to be ignored.
You are not sincere
Apologies only work if you refer to them. People often say “I’m sorry” and then insist that it’s not their fault.
That is not an apology. That’s just saying “I’m sorry” before complaining.
Concentrate on sincerity and take responsibility for your actions. Later, when you have restored the break in your relationship, you will have time to deal with the dishonesty of the world.
You do not recognize the feelings of the other person
Yes, you are the one who apologizes. But that does not mean that everything is about you.
To apologize, you should not only take responsibility for what you have done but also take into account the feelings of the other person.
Things like “I can only imagine how you feel” or “I understand that this was not fun for you” will show that you are considering the feelings of the other person. It will show that you can show empathy that can help calm the other person’s anger.
Harshly for the apology and not leaving enough time for the other to decide if the apology satisfied him, it creates a more significant problem. Eventually, he may feel that he has been tricked, which has led to all kinds of resentment.
So, how can you apologize?
Say “I’m sorry” and give the other person enough time to respond. Practice active listening and pay attention to what you are going to say.
When you do this, you can understand and respond to the current problems you face. It will encourage the other person to accept their apology and consider it sincere.
The apology is a fact of life. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect Sometimes it’s even a good idea to apologize if we have not done anything wrong.
A very useful apology if you have not done anything wrong, but the other person is still angry, that is, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’. This shows empathy and can help alleviate another’s anger. It approaches you to solve a problem and moves away from it.
Alaine Gordon is young and talented content manager at Essays.Solutions. She has been writing professionally since 2010 about almost everything, starting from psychology and to the finance. Alaine Gordon graduated from the University of Colorado with B.A. in Journalism, 2011. She is open-minded, creative person who loves to make the people smile. Her credo is ‘Life is a fun enterprise’. In her free time, she loves travelling, reading science fiction