Enjoying life with your partner sometimes look difficult. It is pertinent to make sure you have time to spend with your partner in order to save your relationships.
I realized that identifying the problem is only half the battle. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.
When you stop the caring for her then you are free to really be in the relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. Though, you won’t feel a need to control anything. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that.
The question is, how do we do it? How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells?
1. Realize stressing get you nowhere
First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. It causes problems within the relationship, and more importantly, it takes a huge toll on your sense of self and self-esteem. When you care too much, you inevitably become attached to a certain outcome. You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. And if they don’t, then you suffer on many levels.2. See a relationship for what it is
3. Set a freak-out deadline
A lot of us make the mistake of prematurely freaking out over something that really turns out to be absolutely nothing. For example, let’s say you start seeing a new guy and things are going great. You talk regularly, go on fun dates, it seems to be going really well. But then you don’t hear from him for a day or two and immediately hit the panic button.
And then the devastation starts to creep in…followed by the doubts. What did I do wrong? Was it something I said? Something I did? Why do the guys I like always leave me? You feel a sense of dread deep in your gut and you know, you just know, that he’s never coming back.
4. Be present
The biggest problem with stressing over your relationship is it takes you out of the relationship and brings you to a much more disturbing place. When you get stressed and anxious, you’re no longer interacting with the person sitting in front of you, you’re interacting with the thoughts in your mind. You fixate on an imagined future and worry about how and if you’ll get there with him. Stop doing this!
5. Stop attaching to what things mean
As women, we have all been programmed to see having a relationship as some sign that we’ve made it, that we’re worthy. Being single is seen as something to be pitied, and being in a relationship is something to covet. As a result, a lot of us measure our worth by our relationship status. If a guy leaves, that means you’re unworthy, you weren’t good enough to have this thing that you’ve been told you need in order to be enough. It’s hard to undo years of faulty programming that’s been so firmly ingrained into our DNA, but it isn’t impossible.