Did you know you? It is even possible that you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship and still don’t know.
Home violence is once again at the forefront of this news. It is in part due to violent incidents with sports statistics or celebrities that contain become very public. Abuse is not always as evident to be hit or shoved, called degrading brands. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or subtle.
You may find yourself feeling uncomfortable and confused about the relationship. It is the sort of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you feel more settled in the partnership. My spouse and I are talking here about psychological abuse, and this is known as mental or psychological abuse.
It’s not necessarily clear that you’re in an abusive relationship. Also, learn some of the key signs to look for. It’s commonly about who is being abused to believe is their fault and that they somehow ‘deserve’ the abuse. It’s important to know that most likely never to blame for just how an abusive person treats you.
However, it is rare for abusive relationships not to have these intense occasions of feeling. The victim clings to hope when these incidents occur, and the abuser knows this.
Mental abuse can look like:
- Embarrassing or humiliating you.
- Regular put-downs.
- Refusing to communicate.
- Ignoring or excluding you.
- Extramarital affairs.
- Provocative behavior with opposing sex.
- Use of sarcasm and unpleasant build of voice.
- Uncommon jealousy.
- Extreme moodiness.
- Mean jokes or always making fun of you.
- Saying “I love you but… inches
- Saying things like “If you do this _____, I will_____.
- Domination and control.
- Withdrawal of affection.
- Guilt trips.
- Producing everything your fault.
- Isolating you from friends and family.
- Employing money to control.
- Constant calling or sending text messages when you are avoiding him/her.
- Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.
This can also help you if:
– your partner endeavors to control your behavior
– your partner threatens to harm you, your domestic pets or people you adore
– you’re scared of your spouse.
The Following Are The Key signs of an abusive relationship
An abusive relationship just limited to attack. It can include intimate, emotional and physical mistreat, and may even involve control of your finances. Here are several symptoms to look for.
– They check on you constantly to see where you are, what most likely you are doing and with who probably the person.
– They also do all things to control your whereabouts and get furious when you do things contrary to their sayings.
– They will be the first to accuse you of being flirting and doubt your trust in the relationship.
– They get you isolated from friends, relatives, neighbor, and family.
– They put you down, either openly or privately, by targeting your intelligence, looks, mental health or capabilities.
– Also, they constantly compare you unfairly to others.
– In addition, they pin the consequence on you for all the problems in your marriage, and then for their violent reactions.
– They say things like, ‘No one else will want you. ‘
– They yell and deliberately break things that you value.
– They also threaten to use physical violence against you, your family, friends or a family pet.
Physical and sexual physical violence
– They push, shove, strike or grab you, or make you have sexual intercourse or do things you don’t need to do.
– They harm you, your household pets or your family users.
If your partner shows the following behaviors, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship:
He pushes for quick involvement at any activity.
He boldly says, “I’ve never felt loved similar to this a prior by anybody before.
Discover regular jealousy.
Your spouse is excessively possessive. Receiving of mobile phone calls regularly or visits at any time.
He is managing.
He interrogates you extremely about who you spoke to and where you were all the days. Also, he will insist on permission before you can go out with any friend or family member.
This individual has very unrealistic anticipations.
He expects perfection from you and so that you can meet their every need.
He tries to cut you removed from family and friends, deprives you of your telephone or car, or will try to prevent you from holding a career.
He blames others for his mistakes.
The boss, family, you – it’s always another person’s wrong doing if anything goes incorrect. He blames everything on others.
He makes all others in charge of their emotions.
The abuser says, “You cause me to feel angry” rather than “I’m irritated. ”
He is hypersensitive.
He easily rants and rage anger on small things. Also, he insults you on any mistake without justifications. He is just hyper-sensitive about everything around him.
He’s cruel to animals and children.
He kills or punishes pets or animals brutally. However, he may expect children to do things beyond their capability or tease them until they cry.
His uses “playful” push during sex.
He loves throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he finds out the thought of rape exciting. Also, this individual intimidates, manipulates or pushes one to engage in unwanted sex acts.
There’s verbal mistreatment.
He regularly criticizes you or says cruel things. Therefore he degrades, curses and calls you ugly brands. Also, he will use weak points about your previous or current life against you.
Right now there are rigid gender functions in the partnership.
He expects you to provide, obey and remain at home. However, he only wants you as a sit-home partner. He doesn’t want to go anywhere except obeying his orders.
This individual threatens violence.
He utters statements such as, “I’ll break your head, very well but then dismisses it with “I did not mean it, do not be offended.”
Abusers can convince you that you do not should have better treatment or they are treating you this way to “help” you. A lot of abusers even act quite charming and kind in public places so that others have a good impression of which. However, in private is a unique story, which is also quite baffling.
How to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Partner After Cheating
Cheating as a form infidelity can cause you a lot. It can change your orientation about your new partner.
It is completely confusing to discover that your partner has violated your trust. You begin to question the whole relationship, struggle with feelings that you are not good enough and especially ask yourself if the damage may or may not be repaired.
One thing that can offer you at least a bit of comfort? If they have cheated and deceived you, you are not the only one. In fact, in 1/3 of marriages, one or both couples have committed some cheating during their relationship.
Although there are innumerable articles that encourage you to leave your unfaithful partner, there are also ways to help you in case you decide to try your relationship a second time. Many individuals have fallen into abusive relationships.
After all, if Beyonce and Jay-Z could do it, why not? If you have decided to stay with your partner after being deceived, you must know what is needed to heal.
Read on to discover how to rebuild a relationship after cheating.
Take some time to separate yourself
If you discover that you have been deceived, this can lead to severe disputes between you and your partner.
These fights stop being productive quickly. As soon as that happens, they will make cruel turns that can make it much harder for you to move on. If you still live or spend time together in the same environment, you may want to consider leaving. It will be impossible to resist the temptation to cut your partner or ask for forgiveness.
Whether they cheat you or you are cheating, you must lose yourself and your partner for a few days.
First, you can purify your mind. Second, you can request the support and advice of your friends. It will also help you get away from a toxic environment. So book that Airbnb dreams or spend a few nights on your friend’s couch.
Improving communication with your partner after being deceived is one of the most important things you can do to heal.
To ensure that both parties are heard and that problematic questions are dealt with fairly, it is a good idea to have a therapist as a mediator and give objective advice.
If you want to find local therapists in your area, you can search online or ask your friends if they know someone who can help you.
Remember that cheating is often caused by underlying problems in your relationship. It may even be the result of your partner’s emotional imbalance. It is essential to address these problems immediately if you want to rebuild trust. You should be careful of partners you choose, read here, 12 types of men you should not date.
Resist The Urge To Smell
20% of men go through texts and photos in a relationship. If they deceive you, the desire to spy on your partner can be incredibly strong. Although it may be satisfying or offer a sense of relief if you do not find anything, it is important to think big.
Remember that spying on your partner indicates a serious lack of confidence. If you want to continue with infidelity, you have to learn again how to trust your partner.
This starts with resisting the urge to check your messages on social networks.
Do not forget that it is a process
If it goes well with your partner, it can be tempting to throw the past through the window and return to your previous routines. It can also be a challenge to stay if the changes you want to see do not happen soon enough.
Give your partner the opportunity to improve and give yourself time to heal. Remember that recovery after infidelity is a process. If you treat it like a race, both lose.
5 Common Mistakes You Should Avoid When Apologizing
Do you know how to apologize?
In some cases, saying sorry (apologize) is not enough. Instead of softening things up and improving the situation, this just leads to an even bigger bang and mess. We often just put our hands and wonder why the other person does not seem to appreciate what we do.
Why do other people always have to see what you say in the worst light?
Well, it may not be his fault.
Your apology may not be as sincere or as well intended as you plan. That’s because many of us make mistakes when we apologize. We say and do things that do not help what we do.
For this reason, here is a practical guide on how to apologize.
Including the word ‘but.’
In Game of Thrones, they compared everything before the word “but” with horse manure. Well, that’s true, especially if you apologize.
If you say: “I’m sorry, but it’s also your fault”, then what your audience will hear is not “forgiveness” but “it’s your fault”.
The best advice if you apologize is to focus on the fact that you apologize and leave the disputes for later. If you find it difficult, remember this: apologies would not mean much if they were easy.
Do you know what the norm of reciprocity is?
It’s what we do to others who have done it to us.
For example, if you go to someone’s house and he gives you a bottle of wine, you should do the same. If someone sent you a postcard or sent you a message on your birthday, you should do the same.
If you want an apology without problems, you often have to apply the same idea.
You apologize, and the other person gives you an apology. If you do not, things can get out of control easily. The person who first apologized will feel that he is there to be ignored.
You are not sincere
Apologies only work if you refer to them. People often say “I’m sorry” and then insist that it’s not their fault.
That is not an apology. That’s just saying “I’m sorry” before complaining.
Concentrate on sincerity and take responsibility for your actions. Later, when you have restored the break in your relationship, you will have time to deal with the dishonesty of the world.
You do not recognize the feelings of the other person
Yes, you are the one who apologizes. But that does not mean that everything is about you.
To apologize, you should not only take responsibility for what you have done but also take into account the feelings of the other person.
Things like “I can only imagine how you feel” or “I understand that this was not fun for you” will show that you are considering the feelings of the other person. It will show that you can show empathy that can help calm the other person’s anger.
Harshly for the apology and not leaving enough time for the other to decide if the apology satisfied him, it creates a more significant problem. Eventually, he may feel that he has been tricked, which has led to all kinds of resentment.
So, how can you apologize?
Say “I’m sorry” and give the other person enough time to respond. Practice active listening and pay attention to what you are going to say.
When you do this, you can understand and respond to the current problems you face. It will encourage the other person to accept their apology and consider it sincere.
The apology is a fact of life. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect Sometimes it’s even a good idea to apologize if we have not done anything wrong.
A very useful apology if you have not done anything wrong, but the other person is still angry, that is, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’. This shows empathy and can help alleviate another’s anger. It approaches you to solve a problem and moves away from it.
Alaine Gordon is young and talented content manager at Essays.Solutions. She has been writing professionally since 2010 about almost everything, starting from psychology and to the finance. Alaine Gordon graduated from the University of Colorado with B.A. in Journalism, 2011. She is open-minded, creative person who loves to make the people smile. Her credo is ‘Life is a fun enterprise’. In her free time, she loves travelling, reading science fiction
Amazing and Best Flowers That Delight Every Occasion
There are so many best flowers out there to choose from when going to an event but making this decision could be a whole lot easier if you know exactly what you are looking for.
As you obviously know, flowers are one of the best gift items, and this is because they are fresh and versatile. Every flower you see carries a message or can stir up a particular emotion. So, in this article, we are going to be looking at the best flowers that can grace any event.
At the end of this article, you will find it much easier when you are looking for the best flower gift ideas.
Roses have traditionally been associated with romance. Red roses depict love while white roses depict purity. This flower is suitable for any romantic event. Roses are appropriate for any romantic gathering. It could be a date or Valentine’s Day. Roses come in different colours, and each colour means something.
White rose depicts – purity
Yellow rose depicts – friendship
Pink rose shows – admiration
Finally red rose represent love.
Knowing what the particular colour of rose entails, will ultimately help to know the right one to pick when going to an event.
The best flowers to purchase when going to an anniversary is usually the flower in season. This is because it represents the period you are celebrating. For example, if you have an anniversary during the spring, then delicate flowers like the peach and cherry blossom will be appropriate. While if you have an anniversary in the summer, pink roses or sunflowers will be appropriate.
During the fall season, darker flowers such as the lilies could be a great option. During the winter season flowers like the orchids, chrysanthemums and pansies are perfect.
In the quest to choosing the best flowers for your anniversary, you have to make sure that you consider what the flower you are going to pick represents in your relationship or that of the recipient.
Get well soon.
Before you send a flower to a loved one or a friend in the hospital, you should think deeply about the personality of the person as well as the place the person is resting. If your loved one is in a hospital, you should avoid picking something with a very strong fragrance. The best flowers you can pick from are; tulips and Irises. The reason why you should pick from these flowers is that they can make a hospital room look better.
But if your recipient is at home then flowers like marigolds, daffodils, and sunflower could be perfect because they denote rebirth. Flowers you must avoid when are the yellow daylilies because they are associated with death and funerals.
Flowers are an important part of any wedding regardless of its size. A lot of couples put in lots of time and energy in planning the kind of flowers they are going to use for their wedding. There is no right or wrong way to arrange or present flower at weddings. Some great flower options when it comes to weddings are as follows; tulip, calla lily, lily of the valley, hydrangeas, peony, stephanotis and many more.
When looking for a flower for father’s’ day, select something that has a masculine vibe with beautiful and unique blooms. Some good options are – bamboo, bonsais, and orchids. The good about these flowers is that they can have a special effect in the office or desk of any man.
Some popular flowers associated with mother’s day are orchid, roses, irises, and carnations. To further personalize your flower gift on mother’s’ day, consider the recipient, think of colours she loves or a particular scent she adores. Use the information you can gather to decide with regards to the kind of flower you want to purchase.
When paying tribute to a loved one, you will need to go with something that connotes respect and love. The best flowers that do the job include chrysanthemums, lilies, and roses.
In all, anticipation is the key when it comes to selecting an appropriate flower for an event. Try to think about the personality of your recipient as well as their likes. Knowing this will guide you when picking a flower for an occasion.
5 Perfect Places To Have Sex Aside Bedroom If You Want To Spice It Up
It’s officially “once I’m home I’m not going out again” weather. The daily below-freezing temperatures mean if you want to see your partner or plan a date with someone, they’ll likely be coming over (or you’ll go to their place). Netflix and chill is the ideal activity between the months of January and March. Unfortunately, spending all of your time in bed with your partner can get boring. If you have a house or an apartment without roommates, venture out of your room to hook up. If you’re wondering where to have marital affairs besides your bedroom, here are five ideas that will spice up your sex life this winter.
Take advantage of the various furniture and layouts of different rooms in the house, and try new positions that will turn you on in ways you haven’t even imagined. If you do have roommates, it can be tricky to sneak around and have subtle sex outside of the bedroom, but I believe in you. It’s not like they can be home all the time, and they have needs, too. They should understand. Obviously, their room is off limits, but everywhere else is fair game. Tap into your adventurous side by exploring every inch of your house or apartment — and every inch of your partner — with these sexy suggestions.
1. On The Living Room Couch
If you want something you can lie down on that isn’t your boring old bed, the living room couch is your best bet. It also opens up opportunities for fun new angles. Have your partner sit on the couch with their back against the cushions. Get on top and straddle them, then move and grind as you please. You can hold onto the back of the couch for support, or turn around for reverse cowgirl.
2. In The Laundry Room
If you have a laundry room in your house or apartment, put it to good use. Get dirty where your clothes get clean. Try sitting on top of the washing machine or dryer, and have your partner stand and go down on you, and vice-versa. You can even turn the machine on for extra stimulation.
3. On The Kitchen Counter
While it’s not totally sanitary, hooking up on the kitchen counter is extremely hot. Your partner can push you against the cabinets while you make out. When you can’t stand it anymore, hop up on the counter (or have them pick you up), wrap your legs around them, and go to town.
4. In The Bath
Shower sex gets a lot of hate, but some couples do find it enjoyable. If you want to try a variation that lowers your risk of falling, draw a romantic bath, light a few candles, and pour two glasses of wine. What happens under the bubbles, stays under the bubbles. Just make sure you hold onto either side of the tub for leverage so you don’t slip and slide around.
5. On The Stairs
If you’re up for it, staircase sex can be a fun new experience. Think about it: you and your partner are so hot and bothered that you just have to have each other right then and there. Hot. Plus, knowing someone could walk in can be a big turn on. Doggy style sex is ideal in this situation, because you can use the stairs to your advantage. Kneel on a low step, and put your hands one or two steps higher. Your partner should kneel or stand behind you on a lower step. Spontaneity is great, but don’t get so into it that you end up with rug burn or fall down the steps.
You don’t have to leave the house to get a new perspective, but at least get out of your bedroom. You’ll enjoy working out your winter bods all over the house.
Learn How to Distinguish Friendly and Romantic Dates | Dating Tips
Any of us possess the nature of a social being. We need people to interact with, talk to, laugh along, argue with, love and be loved. Therefore dating is so popular.
There are several kinds of dating. Going out with a specific person or in groups to enjoy each others company is considered dating. We may go out to movies, sports activities, parks, or merely lazing around in the house. There are prepared dates and spontaneous dates.
There are also dates that are satisfying and others becoming not so cool in the end. In short, dating is a social activity where a person has the opportunity to grow in the presence of another.
Being in a company is one opportunity to know a person or persons at a deeper level. Meeting them two or more times may develop the interest and the natural bond. Some end up becoming good friends for a lifetime, others mere acquaintances for some time and others end up having romantic relationships.
It is important to distinguish between the two to avoid stumbling into a fake relationship. In this dating phenomenon, when can we identify if it is just a friendly date or a romantic date?
The following facts may help determine which is which:
1. Friendly date
- The level of interest and curiosity is on the general activities of the person. For example, families, hobbies, skills, talents, and favourites
- Both parties are not self-conscious of how they look and behave
- They can talk about anything and everything without feeling awkward on how the other party will respond
- A friend can easily say no to a date if he or she does not want to go
- Setting or location does not necessarily have to be fancy
- There are no sparks or chemistry going on and it is just a fun of being together
- No effort of setting the best foot forward to prove that you can be likeable
- Also, no physical attraction present
- No expectations of becoming girlfriend or boyfriend
2. Romantic date
- There is an added pressure to look good on a date
- Compromising what you really want over the desires of the person you asked to go out with
- Not able to say no to the person you like especially when he or she asked you out
- Has become more concerned with personal issues (example: daily activities, whom they get to spend time with, etc.)
- You give your full attention and focus to what he or she says
- You make extra effort to get a fancy place and set up a romantic tone
- There is physical attraction
- You think about him or her over and over again once you get home
No doubt, importance is attached to why one needs to be conscious whether he or she went out for a friendly date or a romantic one. The only concern though would be for both parties to be aware of any intentions or expectations that may potentially arise later on. Failure to do so might lead to an abusive relationship.
At least both will have a clear-cut understanding of their social status in their so-called budding relationship. Identifying which is which will spare them from getting confused whether they are only friends or are indeed romantically attracted to each other.
Learn to differentiate between friendly and romantic dates.
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