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I believe no need to define the term relationships. We all know the word relationships I meant with this post. It is a relationship that subsists between husband and wife. A relationship is beautiful, awesome and sweet where unity, love, and understanding exist between husband and wife. It is only in the days then that relationship lasts longer but at this 21st century of ours, many relationships fail and end untimely and unexpectedly. Many experts in counseling and guidance in relationship line have discussed on this issue but it seems this break of a thing still persists.

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Though, many relationships of these days are not built on love rather than deceits. When a relationship that exists between partners is just because of money, fame, or other benefits than the real love that should be the bedrock of any relationship. With this, if there is no comfort and healthy living between couples then the union might break.
Surprisingly, many young shall grow relationship often breaks on a regular basis, I ask myself is it because of improper orientation about what a relationship is? I know many people are also pondering upon this issue as I am why will a built relationship breaks in short period thereby leaving the relationship in agony thereafter settle for depression and sadness.
No matter the problems or challenges you face in your relationship I believe you can avoid any unforeseen break-up or failed relationship if certain things should be taken care of. Let me state the ingredients or forces that cause a failed relationship or break up at the unforeseen moment. If you find yourself doing one of these things I will urge you desist from it now because it may hinder that long built relationship of yours.

The following are the 10 common causes of a failed relationship

Lack of Trust:

Trust is known as an important instrument to solidify a relationship. When trust is hard to be seen in a relationship or fades away then such relationship may fail at any time. The first thing in any relationship is to trust your partner whatsoever the situation might be.
Even, if you hear something unusual about her or him then be patient and verify such thing because it might just be a rumour carrying by dirty minded people who wish your relationship don’t last long. For this single reason, make sure the important and vital instrument called trust be always present in your relationship. When you fail to trust your partner or you just bring in an element of doubt in your dealings with your partner then such relationship can die untimely in short period.

Lack of respect:

As the statement goes; Respect is simply reciprocal, nobody can doubt that. A mutual respect relationship is needed to solidify any relationship. When there is not that mutual respect from both sides then such relationship loses its bedrock piece to break up. What is the essence of a relationship I am that I don’t deserve a respect from my partner?
Mutual respect is a must in a relationship. With concrete mutual respect, then all other vital tools to solidify your relationship will easily come in. The tools to solidify and make your relationship to last longer are peace of mind, honesty, love, understanding, unity, others will surely exist and thereby you have a strong and lasting relationship.

 Dishonesty

Honesty is very important in any aspect of life. Also, honesty is a must use tool in any relationship. No doubt, honesty is a necessary requirement for a platonic relationship let alone a romantic relationship where it must be needed. It is needed aspect of life like politics, business world, academic environment and other fields. Honesty is the laying block foundation for any successful project or objective. For this reason, you have to be honest with your partner in all dealings.
 Never try to engage in extra-marital affair which is called secret affairs. Secret affairs can tempt you to be a dishonest being to your partner. The only secret affair you can have is with your legal wife or husband. As I have mentioned above, mutual respect does command honesty thereof respect your partner. When respect and honesty are the bedrock of foundation of your relationship then other things come in easily. In the other word, when there is a breach of respect and honesty, the relationship is set to wind up, break up and fail untimely.

 Frequent Fighting

Fighting will never bring any positive thing to a relationship than bringing it to an end. Lack of respect, dishonesty, using harsh words and frequent complaints will yield nothing as end product than fighting. A relationship that exchanges blow or a partner beating other partner has no future at all. Avoid physical violence and fighting your partner no matter the confrontation form him/her.
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RELATED POST: 8 Qualities Men Desire In Women

Impatience:

Patience is a valuable tool to use for a relationship. Impatience as said can destroy a mansion in a second. Therefore, you have to be impatience with your partner. Harsh words, frequent harsh and other discomfort things can come your way in a relationship but with patience, you can overcome them. I have read many papers that only rumours have destabilized their relationships. If you are not patience, a mere rumour you hear and you over-react can destroy anything.

Maltreatment:

Maltreatment is a common cause of any failed relationship. Maltreating your partner is not something fascinating at all. Why maltreating your partner for any cause. This arises a lot and caused by husband because of many the responsibilities is saddle to the husband. Maltreatment can come in many forms but the major one is the financial aspect.
When you fail to play your responsibility as the financial provider for your family then maltreating her then she can feel somehow. From the part of the wife, when domestic works to make your husband happy rather than discomfort. Maltreatment sends your partner outside to seek for better and fresh air which can lure him/her to a marital affair called secret affair then such relationship might fail.

 Insufficient time Spend With Partner:

Time is very vital in one’s life which should not be wasted on unnecessary things or matters. Time spent with your family members or friends in worthy let alone your partner. You must always devote your time for your partner.
Always find time for your relationship and don’t forget that whenever your partner feels abandoned then she can find all means to satisfy herself/himself outside the relationship. Never use your office work, trade or business as excuses not get time for your relationship. Statistics have shown that many problems in a relationship originated from loneliness and insufficient time with the partner.
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Harsh Words and Frequent Complaints

Experience has shown that the rudiments of many failed relationships today began with harsh words and frequent complaints. As a matter of fact, it is very important we mind our spoken words in the relationship. Though, there are times when words are exchanged for fun and amusement but don’t look down on your partner by complaining about any issue or her/his imperfection. You should also not take using harsh words on your partner as fun.
Harsh words and frequent complaints are two ugly tools that destroy any relationship at its early age. With mutual respect in a relationship, honesty and understanding then you are guaranteed never to experience an early sinking of the ship of your relationship. Harsh words and frequent complaints will bring nothing other than disrespect, hatred, and dishonesty.

RELATED POST: 7 Things Modern Girls Really Look for in Men

Frequent Unfulfilled Promise:

Never promise what you will not fulfill. A promise to your partner make him/her in a fantasy mood to receive such promise at a stipulated date but failed to fulfill the promise may make her disgusted and sad. If this act persists, your partner might lose trust in you and she will hardly see you as honesty partner. Unfortunately, if someone one else outside promises her/him and surprises your partner with huge fulfillment. What do you think will happen? No matter how small your promise; thrive to fulfill it.

 Borrowing money Without Refund:

A relationship is also a union to help each other at a hard time. Many relationships are falsely built on ‘for better for worse’ but when in reality it is only for better.  In a situation where you are financially handicapped and seek assistance from your partner and promises to pay back. Failure to refund such money reduces the respect rate your partner has for you. Many relationships have fallen apart today, not because of anything but money dispute.
 Finally, I believe if we can avoid the following stated points above then we have avoided the untimely collapse of a relationship. Many relationships have failed because of minute things and not taken cognizance of things like this.

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Saminu Abass Ola who is popularly called ‘Mr. Possible‘ is a young motivational and inspirational speaker and writer, who is also the brain behind this wonderful blog. He is also passionate about Social Marketing. He believes in the abilities of others and tends to bring out the hidden potentials in people’s lives through his motivational articles and words of inspiration.

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Relationships

How to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Partner After Cheating

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Cheating as a form infidelity can cause you a lot. It can change your orientation about your new partner.

It is completely confusing to discover that your partner has violated your trust. You begin to question the whole relationship, struggle with feelings that you are not good enough and especially ask yourself if the damage may or may not be repaired.

One thing that can offer you at least a bit of comfort? If they have cheated and deceived you, you are not the only one. In fact, in 1/3 of marriages, one or both couples have committed some cheating during their relationship.

Although there are innumerable articles that encourage you to leave your unfaithful partner, there are also ways to help you in case you decide to try your relationship a second time. Many individuals have fallen into abusive relationships.

After all, if Beyonce and Jay-Z could do it, why not? If you have decided to stay with your partner after being deceived, you must know what is needed to heal.

Read on to discover how to rebuild a relationship after cheating.

Take some time to separate yourself

If you discover that you have been deceived, this can lead to severe disputes between you and your partner.

These fights stop being productive quickly. As soon as that happens, they will make cruel turns that can make it much harder for you to move on. If you still live or spend time together in the same environment, you may want to consider leaving. It will be impossible to resist the temptation to cut your partner or ask for forgiveness.

Whether they cheat you or you are cheating, you must lose yourself and your partner for a few days.

First, you can purify your mind. Second, you can request the support and advice of your friends. It will also help you get away from a toxic environment. So book that Airbnb dreams or spend a few nights on your friend’s couch.

 

Consider Counseling

Improving communication with your partner after being deceived is one of the most important things you can do to heal.

To ensure that both parties are heard and that problematic questions are dealt with fairly, it is a good idea to have a therapist as a mediator and give objective advice.

If you want to find local therapists in your area, you can search online or ask your friends if they know someone who can help you.

Remember that cheating is often caused by underlying problems in your relationship. It may even be the result of your partner’s emotional imbalance. It is essential to address these problems immediately if you want to rebuild trust. You should be careful of partners you choose, read here, 12 types of men you should not date.

 

Resist The Urge To Smell

20% of men go through texts and photos in a relationship. If they deceive you, the desire to spy on your partner can be incredibly strong. Although it may be satisfying or offer a sense of relief if you do not find anything, it is important to think big.

Remember that spying on your partner indicates a serious lack of confidence. If you want to continue with infidelity, you have to learn again how to trust your partner.

This starts with resisting the urge to check your messages on social networks.

 

Do not forget that it is a process

If it goes well with your partner, it can be tempting to throw the past through the window and return to your previous routines. It can also be a challenge to stay if the changes you want to see do not happen soon enough.

Give your partner the opportunity to improve and give yourself time to heal. Remember that recovery after infidelity is a process. If you treat it like a race, both lose.

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5 Common Mistakes You Should Avoid When Apologizing

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Do you know how to apologize?

In some cases, saying sorry (apologize) is not enough. Instead of softening things up and improving the situation, this just leads to an even bigger bang and mess. We often just put our hands and wonder why the other person does not seem to appreciate what we do.

 

Why do other people always have to see what you say in the worst light?

Well, it may not be his fault.

Your apology may not be as sincere or as well intended as you plan. That’s because many of us make mistakes when we apologize. We say and do things that do not help what we do.

For this reason, here is a practical guide on how to apologize.

Including the word ‘but.’

In Game of Thrones, they compared everything before the word “but” with horse manure. Well, that’s true, especially if you apologize.

If you say: “I’m sorry, but it’s also your fault”, then what your audience will hear is not “forgiveness” but “it’s your fault”.

The best advice if you apologize is to focus on the fact that you apologize and leave the disputes for later. If you find it difficult, remember this: apologies would not mean much if they were easy.

 

The Golden rule

Do you know what the norm of reciprocity is?

It’s what we do to others who have done it to us.

For example, if you go to someone’s house and he gives you a bottle of wine, you should do the same. If someone sent you a postcard or sent you a message on your birthday, you should do the same.

If you want an apology without problems, you often have to apply the same idea.

You apologize, and the other person gives you an apology. If you do not, things can get out of control easily. The person who first apologized will feel that he is there to be ignored.

 

You are not sincere

Apologies only work if you refer to them. People often say “I’m sorry” and then insist that it’s not their fault.

That is not an apology. That’s just saying “I’m sorry” before complaining.

Concentrate on sincerity and take responsibility for your actions. Later, when you have restored the break in your relationship, you will have time to deal with the dishonesty of the world.

You do not recognize the feelings of the other person

Yes, you are the one who apologizes. But that does not mean that everything is about you.

To apologize, you should not only take responsibility for what you have done but also take into account the feelings of the other person.

Things like “I can only imagine how you feel” or “I understand that this was not fun for you” will show that you are considering the feelings of the other person. It will show that you can show empathy that can help calm the other person’s anger.

You hurry

Harshly for the apology and not leaving enough time for the other to decide if the apology satisfied him, it creates a more significant problem. Eventually, he may feel that he has been tricked, which has led to all kinds of resentment.

So, how can you apologize?

Say “I’m sorry” and give the other person enough time to respond. Practice active listening and pay attention to what you are going to say.

When you do this, you can understand and respond to the current problems you face. It will encourage the other person to accept their apology and consider it sincere.

 

CONCLUSION

The apology is a fact of life. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect Sometimes it’s even a good idea to apologize if we have not done anything wrong.

A very useful apology if you have not done anything wrong, but the other person is still angry, that is, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’. This shows empathy and can help alleviate another’s anger. It approaches you to solve a problem and moves away from it.

Author:

Alaine Gordon is young and talented content manager at Essays.Solutions. She has been writing professionally since 2010 about almost everything, starting from psychology and to the finance. Alaine Gordon graduated from the University of Colorado with B.A. in Journalism, 2011. She is open-minded, creative person who loves to make the people smile. Her credo is ‘Life is a fun enterprise’. In her free time, she loves travelling, reading science fiction

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Amazing and Best Flowers That Delight Every Occasion

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There are so many best flowers out there to choose from when going to an event but making this decision could be a whole lot easier if you know exactly what you are looking for.

As you obviously know, flowers are one of the best gift items, and this is because they are fresh and versatile. Every flower you see carries a message or can stir up a particular emotion. So, in this article, we are going to be looking at the best flowers that can grace any event.

At the end of this article, you will find it much easier when you are looking for the best flower gift ideas.

Valentines Day.

Roses have traditionally been associated with romance. Red roses depict love while white roses depict purity.  This flower is suitable for any romantic event. Roses are appropriate for any romantic gathering. It could be a date or Valentine’s Day. Roses come in different colours, and each colour means something.

White rose depicts – purity

Yellow rose depicts – friendship

Pink rose shows – admiration

Finally red rose represent love.

Knowing what the particular colour of rose entails, will ultimately help to know the right one to pick when going to an event.

Anniversary.

The best flowers to purchase when going to an anniversary is usually the flower in season. This is because it represents the period you are celebrating.  For example, if you have an anniversary during the spring, then delicate flowers like the peach and cherry blossom will be appropriate.  While if you have an anniversary in the summer, pink roses or sunflowers will be appropriate.

During the fall season, darker flowers such as the lilies could be a great option. During the winter season flowers like the orchids, chrysanthemums and pansies are perfect.

In the quest to choosing the best flowers for your anniversary, you have to make sure that you consider what the flower you are going to pick represents in your relationship or that of the recipient.

 

Get well soon.

Before you send a flower to a loved one or a friend in the hospital, you should think deeply about the personality of the person as well as the place the person is resting. If your loved one is in a hospital, you should avoid picking something with a very strong fragrance. The best flowers you can pick from are; tulips and Irises. The reason why you should pick from these flowers is that they can make a hospital room look better.

But if your recipient is at home then flowers like marigolds, daffodils, and sunflower could be perfect because they denote rebirth. Flowers you must avoid when are the yellow daylilies because they are associated with death and funerals.

 

Weddings.

Flowers are an important part of any wedding regardless of its size. A lot of couples put in lots of time and energy in planning the kind of flowers they are going to use for their wedding.  There is no right or wrong way to arrange or present flower at weddings. Some great flower options when it comes to weddings are as follows; tulip, calla lily, lily of the valley, hydrangeas, peony, stephanotis and many more.

 

Fathers’ Day.

When looking for a flower for father’s’ day, select something that has a masculine vibe with beautiful and unique blooms. Some good options are – bamboo, bonsais, and orchids. The good about these flowers is that they can have a special effect in the office or desk of any man.

 

Mothers’ Day.

Some popular flowers associated with mother’s day are orchid, roses, irises, and carnations. To further personalize your flower gift on mother’s’ day, consider the recipient, think of colours she loves or a particular scent she adores. Use the information you can gather to decide with regards to the kind of flower you want to purchase.

 

Funeral.

When paying tribute to a loved one, you will need to go with something that connotes respect and love. The best flowers that do the job include chrysanthemums, lilies, and roses.

In all, anticipation is the key when it comes to selecting an appropriate flower for an event. Try to think about the personality of your recipient as well as their likes. Knowing this will guide you when picking a flower for an occasion.

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5 Perfect Places To Have Sex Aside Bedroom If You Want To Spice It Up

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It’s officially “once I’m home I’m not going out again” weather. The daily below-freezing temperatures mean if you want to see your partner or plan a date with someone, they’ll likely be coming over (or you’ll go to their place). Netflix and chill is the ideal activity between the months of January and March. Unfortunately, spending all of your time in bed with your partner can get boring. If you have a house or an apartment without roommates, venture out of your room to hook up. If you’re wondering where to have marital affairs besides your bedroom, here are five ideas that will spice up your sex life this winter.

Take advantage of the various furniture and layouts of different rooms in the house, and try new positions that will turn you on in ways you haven’t even imagined. If you do have roommates, it can be tricky to sneak around and have subtle sex outside of the bedroom, but I believe in you. It’s not like they can be home all the time, and they have needs, too. They should understand. Obviously, their room is off limits, but everywhere else is fair game. Tap into your adventurous side by exploring every inch of your house or apartment — and every inch of your partner — with these sexy suggestions.

1. On The Living Room Couch

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If you want something you can lie down on that isn’t your boring old bed, the living room couch is your best bet. It also opens up opportunities for fun new angles. Have your partner sit on the couch with their back against the cushions. Get on top and straddle them, then move and grind as you please. You can hold onto the back of the couch for support, or turn around for reverse cowgirl.

2. In The Laundry Room

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If you have a laundry room in your house or apartment, put it to good use. Get dirty where your clothes get clean. Try sitting on top of the washing machine or dryer, and have your partner stand and go down on you, and vice-versa. You can even turn the machine on for extra stimulation.

3. On The Kitchen Counter

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While it’s not totally sanitary, hooking up on the kitchen counter is extremely hot. Your partner can push you against the cabinets while you make out. When you can’t stand it anymore, hop up on the counter (or have them pick you up), wrap your legs around them, and go to town.

4. In The Bath

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Shower sex gets a lot of hate, but some couples do find it enjoyable. If you want to try a variation that lowers your risk of falling, draw a romantic bath, light a few candles, and pour two glasses of wine. What happens under the bubbles, stays under the bubbles. Just make sure you hold onto either side of the tub for leverage so you don’t slip and slide around.

5. On The Stairs

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If you’re up for it, staircase sex can be a fun new experience. Think about it: you and your partner are so hot and bothered that you just have to have each other right then and there. Hot. Plus, knowing someone could walk in can be a big turn on. Doggy style sex is ideal in this situation, because you can use the stairs to your advantage. Kneel on a low step, and put your hands one or two steps higher. Your partner should kneel or stand behind you on a lower step. Spontaneity is great, but don’t get so into it that you end up with rug burn or fall down the steps.

You don’t have to leave the house to get a new perspective, but at least get out of your bedroom. You’ll enjoy working out your winter bods all over the house.

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Learn How to Distinguish Friendly and Romantic Dates | Dating Tips

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Any of us possess the nature of a social being. We need people to interact with, talk to, laugh along, argue with, love and be loved. Therefore dating is so popular.

There are several kinds of dating. Going out with a specific person or in groups to enjoy each others company is considered dating. We may go out to movies, sports activities, parks, or merely lazing around in the house. There are prepared dates and spontaneous dates.

There are also dates that are satisfying and others becoming not so cool in the end. In short, dating is a social activity where a person has the opportunity to grow in the presence of another.

Being in a company is one opportunity to know a person or persons at a deeper level. Meeting them two or more times may develop the interest and the natural bond. Some end up becoming good friends for a lifetime, others mere acquaintances for some time and others end up having romantic relationships.

It is important to distinguish between the two to avoid stumbling into a fake relationship. In this dating phenomenon, when can we identify if it is just a friendly date or a romantic date?

The following facts may help determine which is which:

1. Friendly date

  • The level of interest and curiosity is on the general activities of the person. For example, families, hobbies, skills, talents, and favourites
  • Both parties are not self-conscious of how they look and behave
  • They can talk about anything and everything without feeling awkward on how the other party will respond
  • A friend can easily say no to a date if he or she does not want to go
  • Setting or location does not necessarily have to be fancy
  • There are no sparks or chemistry going on and it is just a fun of being together
  • No effort of setting the best foot forward to prove that you can be likeable
  • Also, no physical attraction present
  • No expectations of becoming girlfriend or boyfriend

2. Romantic date

  • There is an added pressure to look good on a date
  • Compromising what you really want over the desires of the person you asked to go out with
  • Not able to say no to the person you like especially when he or she asked you out
  • Has become more concerned with personal issues (example: daily activities, whom they get to spend time with, etc.)
  • You give your full attention and focus to what he or she says
  • You make extra effort to get a fancy place and set up a romantic tone
  • There is physical attraction
  • You think about him or her over and over again once you get home

No doubt, importance is attached to why one needs to be conscious whether he or she went out for a friendly date or a romantic one. The only concern though would be for both parties to be aware of any intentions or expectations that may potentially arise later on. Failure to do so might lead to an abusive relationship.

At least both will have a clear-cut understanding of their social status in their so-called budding relationship. Identifying which is which will spare them from getting confused whether they are only friends or are indeed romantically attracted to each other.

Learn to differentiate between friendly and romantic dates.

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